When men gather together around a campfire in the soul-quieting beauty of God’s creation, a remarkable transformation takes place ‒ life becomes simple.

As we stare into the dancing flames we share unique experiences in those quiet moments ‒ moments when no one is speaking a word or trying to impress. We lift our gaze, fully vertical, and the starlight in the expansive Milky Way reminds us that every single night of our lives it hangs above us, but we rarely notice. Just then a lone star streaking across the night sky evokes a boyhood experience of wonder ‒ a joy that somehow we’ve buried under our busyness.

But the most important thing we share in those quiet evenings together is our life stories ‒ the journeys of men who have survived. We know the wounds of life and have continued to love and wander for years in search of meaning. And once a man has opened up in front of others about his real self, one by one the embraces ‒ and often the tears ‒ begin to flow.

Why is that so? What causes such an authentic outpouring of a man’s soul?

If you boil all of our toil down to one thing ‒ down to just the pure essence of life ‒ we find that it is all about the struggles of relationships and love. It is the deep and true relationship with God our Father ‒ His unrelenting love that comes from the pure grace of Christ Jesus ‒ that we need first in our lives. And hand-in-hand with this, we need authentic relationships with the people around us.

How could we survive so long, or pretend to survive, without both of those?

In God-centered relationships there is no need to wear a mask and no thought of using people for one’s own benefit. Rather, we hold a rich admiration of other men, a humility before one another, and a genuine opening up of our lives. Men do this because that is what we all long for ‒ to be known, and to have the chance of being loved for who we really are.

This is what life is all about.

And when we leave the comfort and closeness of the campfire and head back to our daily lives, we have the opportunity to bring a new reality into our workdays and to those around us.

Jesus said it simply and clearly. His messages about life’s greatest treasure sounded like this, “I am the Way; pursue Me with all that you have. I want you to love one another deeply, from the heart. Lay your life down for one another. No one can have a greater love than this.”

After days of men living together in the mountains or desert, our internal GPS is completely recalibrated. We find true north because we have come to Jesus with our body and soul, relationships and emotions. Somehow, in the hustle of life ‒ in the rat race we all know ‒ someone inserted a “false north” in our compass of life and we went off in the wrong direction at breakneck speed, pursuing all of the wrong things!

Those who love us have, at times, offered “re-routed life directions,” but we often miss and even resent their messages. These could come from your own brother, your wife, or a spiritual life coach. Most poignantly, that kind of harsh wake-up call could come from your kids.

With a simple and tender call they can shock us out of our false navigation system with these words, “Daddy, come play with me.” From your wife it might be the sound of frustration in her voice with your lack of “being there” for her and the kids. She does not mean just doing things for them but actually engaging in true relationships. From your team at work it might be communicated to you with by their lack of enthusiasm or work output.

Do we recognize the signs? It might be time to gather around the fire again and recalibrate.

Some questions that might help are these:

·         As a Christian man do you have a few real friends you can open up to?

·         Does any other person count you as his true friend?

·         Do you create opportunities for your friendships to grow?

Close relationships in Christ equals true life! So pursue them. Desire them. Ask God to help you. Take initiative. Create your own circle around the campfire. Be an authentic man and share your story and listen to others’ stories. Grow in love.

Each year ten men go to Montana to be together. They circle around a campfire and re-ignite their journey of becoming real men (as you see in this photo above). As the stories are shared the mutual respect grows, the bonds are deepened, and joy is reborn in their hearts. They realize they are not just men but brothers.

I remember that experience because I was there and I took the photo!

The only way you can remember something is if you actually go there and do it. So go and create those beautiful memories.

In Montana when we embraced one another with vulnerability, life did not feel like a heavy burden anymore. This is the life in Jesus that He wants us to have. It is a life without worry and it is available to you ‒ right now. This is what Jesus meant when He said, “the Kingdom of God is among you.”

This is true worship of God. This is the fulfillment of man. This is the power of the flames of fire. They remind us not just of the wilderness but of God Himself, who is an almighty consuming fire who loves us with an undying love. With our embraces of one another in the name of Jesus we have begun to live in that unquenchable furnace of His marvelous love.

As a symbol of your heart and life you may want to bow your head and tell God what you need and long for as in the words of this prayer:

“Yes, Jesus, You are the treasure that everyone is seeking. In the middle of my days, help me to remember that a new season of life is coming ‒ it is the hope of resurrection. It is You doing what You do ‒ starting life where there is no life.

And here I am to say I am willing to draw close to You. I know that if I do, You will draw closer to me ‒ You will give me a closer experience of Your presence. I know that I need to repent of some things. I know they are wrong and I am choosing to no longer walk down those paths.

But I will need Your help, Father.

Thank You that nothing I do will ever exhaust Your love. No amount of sin can separate me from You. I know if I close myself off to You, to Your Spirit and Your Word, it’s like turning off the water faucet. You want to flow in our lives like a wild and raging river leaping down the mountain and splashing Your goodness on everyone who comes near. Let me be one of Your sons who boldly approaches the throne of God, because of Jesus, and who embraces You as Father, and who tells You how much I love You.”